


FOOD FIGHT!!!

by The_Rising_Phoenix



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24473680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Rising_Phoenix/pseuds/The_Rising_Phoenix
Summary: They were supposed to be preparing for dinner. That's not how things went... Kino Makoto's kitchen was provided no mercy. Strong Language at times, mentions of sex. (Nothing graphic).
Relationships: Aino Minako/Hino Rei, Kino Makoto & Tsukino Usagi
Kudos: 5





	FOOD FIGHT!!!

They looked at the disaster, and they also heard the key in the lock at the same time. 

They prayed it wasn’t her, for they forgot to let her know they were there in the first place. 

They were allowed in without anyone else home, because they were trusted friends. Their friends lived in a very modest home, with a large backyard and a pool. They had three things of supreme expense: Their kitchen, their master bathroom, and an attached garage that they made a tunneled walkway for, during the winter, that had been converted into a dojo/home gym.

They were given instructions for actual cooking, and preparing other items. Some items were already safely warming.

One tease lead to another; a soft finger of foot agasint the other’s face, before another in return...

But even they realized they screwed up, and impending doom was a turn of the doorknob away.

They locked down at their feet in guilt, while stealing glances at the woman who walked in, at the scene before her.eyes.

“Oh...my….god...You guys...What did you _do_ !? Makoto is going to _kill_ you both!”

Usagi walked in, and was in absolute shock as she looked straight at what was basically _th_ e prized inside of their home.

”Oh no….Not the ceiling...” Usagi groaned as she began to survey the damage. “Pasta sauce? Why pasta sauce?...You got...is that _chocolate_ on her _favorite_ wind chimes?” 

“Soy sauce.” She heard the soft correction. 

“And... _how_ did _wine_..or cranberry sauce get on the cabinets?! If wine, I really hope it was only the cheapest bottle we had and not the good stuff.....Oh no, not her fridge. Not her stainless steel fridge…” Usagi felt sick as it dripped with whtie sour cream and goodness knows what else. She looked around even more; the cabinets, the floors, every space was covered in something. 

“Her stove? Not her stove…” Boiled rice and water was everywhere in the gas stove. Usagi dared to check the oven too, only to find brownie batter overflowing and caking to everything. “Not my brownies too…” She turned it off. 

“This...not even _I_ could do this! How did you guys manage to touch controls and buttons?!” 

Usagi dared to check the microwave. Sure enough, melted nacho cheese was _everywhere_. “You guyyysssss...Oh my god…” Usagi squeezed her eyes shut, and threw her head back before opening her eyes. 

“Oh _fuck!_...You got guac on the _active_ ceiling fan?....It went into the living room!” Usagi was in tears, as her eyes trailed from one room to the other. 

“HOW did you guys let this happen?! You _know_ how meticulous she is when she cooks, even for us! You know how she gets…”

Mina and Rei felt terrible. “We’ll help you clean--”

“HOW?! You guys are _covered!_ Mako’s gonna be home in 5 minutes! There’s no way we’re gonna get this clean! She’s going to lose her shit, before she pases out!”

“Magic?”

“The disguise pen doesn't work like that, and the silver crysalt can’t be used for things like this either,..and at risk of the two of you tracking it throughout the rest of our house, while I should just tell you to into the backyard and douse yourselves with hose water…(Because you are _not_ going into our pool like this, filter system or not)....” Usagi sighed. “Take off your clothes here, make them inside out, make sure your feet are clean and go into the dojo showers. You each have a set of spare clothes here. Use those. Take the tunnel so you’re not spotted (the shades are down). _Don’t touch anything!_ ”

“What are you gonna do? You can’t clean it all yourself.”

“I’ll...I’ll take the rap.”

“Why would you make such a mess?”

“I’ll tell her I instigated and was the first to throw food because I got mad at the two of you.”

“But Usagi, there's no proof? You’re clean.” Mina said. Both of them were touched, as they followed Using’s instructions.

Usagi whimpered as she spotted the large bowl of chocolate sauce that was prepped to make homemade ice scream, and a hard shell.

Just as Rei and Mina were almost out of sight, they saw Usagi dump the bowl right onto her head. 

They exchanged a glance, but as they heard the car pull up into the driveway, they hastily left.

They made it to the dojo just as they heard Usagi’s name loud and clear, jumping. 

“My kitchen...Oh my god my kitchen...What were you _thinking_ ?! No, forget it. Forget it, don’t you _dare_ answer that. I don’t _want_ to know…Might as well call Mina and Rei--”

“They...they're already here. I, I started things.”

“Not sure I even want to _look_ at you right now. What would possess you---That’s it, that's the only logical answer. You were possessed…” Makoto began to mumble intelligible things, just attempting to reign in her own anger.

“I _swear_ to you, this will be cleaned. All of it, by hand. I will clean it, even if it takes me all night.”

“That is the **_only_ ** right answer. And add Mina and Rei to cleaning duty if they’re a part of this too.”

Makoto left the room, but glanced back at a guilty looking Usagi, before she spotted something. “MY WIND CHIMES TOO?” Usagi cringed. Usagi heard one more soft gasp of practical pain, before Makoto walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

Had she been less mature, Usagi absolutely would have let Mina & Rei take the full rap.

She really doesn't know why she initially wanted them to get away scott free, but it really was impossible for her to make this magnitude of a mess all by herself.

An hour later, (Usagi rolled her eyes, knowing the two senshi of love were doing more than actually just cleaning themselves off like they shoudl have been) the two returned.

They were surprised at how much Usagi got done (not realizing how long they were in there). She had taken off her shirt; having leaned over when she dumped the chocolate over her head. It cascaded more down her back and the back of her neck, rather than in her hair; but it did get in there too. She had managed to get the ceiling clean, the cabinets clean, and the windchimes. She hand changed her hairstyle from being tied back to a tight bun on the top of her head. She was just finishing up the fan. “Took you long enough.”

“Thick tomato sauce takes a while to come out of blonde hair Usa.” Mina blushed, looking to Rei.

“Same with guac and chocolate.” Rei commented, looking to Mina coyly, to which Mina returned, 

“You make it sound like it was gum in your hair, you guys.”

The pair shrugged.

“You were gone an hour.”  
  
“We were?”

“Yeah. You were. So, how was the sex?” Usagi asked, annoyed and unenthusiastically.

“Exec--Ow! Rei!”

“Guys, please? _Please_ ? Can you focus on the task at hand here, which is **_not_** eventually having sex on my infuriated wife’s kitchen floor? Please? Just help me clean? I’m almost done up here, then I’m going to get the stuff from the living room. You guys get the countertops, the remaining cabinets, stove & oven, and microwave. I’ll then take the fridge and floor.”

Silently, they began to get cleaning supplies and help, as they saw Usagi climb back up the ladder, cleaning where she needed to in the living room.

“Usa, why did you take the rap like that? You had nothing to do with it.”

“Yeah you _purposely dumped_ the chocolate over your own head to help us out...You were in tears _for_ Mako, knowing how she’d react...Knowing you’d incur her wrath too…Why?”

“While Makoto has gotten so much better about her kitchen and who she lets cook in it, you guys make some mean dishes. Sometimes she brings her work-self home, and is quick to ban people (even if she always apologizes later). When I talked to her between the time she left the house and when you guys said you were supposed to come over, I guess someone complained at the restaurant. She dealt with it I guess, but I could still tell she was upset. You know how she is. Her food is impeccable, and while she is good about critiques, even negative ones, when it’s a complaint about an employee (whether it be the customer’s fault or the employee) it is something she handles right away and gets to the bottom of, fairly. With this amount of mess, I didn’t want her to ban you permanently and mean it. At least with me, I live here. She can still ban me from the kitchn, but it’s not something we’d divorce over.”

“You gonna talk to her tonight?”

“I think I’m going to sleep in the guest room tonight…I wouldn't doubt that you heard her at least to some degree. I’ll give her some space.”

“No, you stay with me.”

“Huh? Mako…”

“Makoto, we have something to say.”

“Guys--”

“No Usa, this is on us.”

“No matter how much, or what you heard, the truth is Usagi had zero to do with this mess. Ten minutes before you got home, Usagi was in just as much shock. She took one for the team, and knew how pissed you would be.”

“So you left her all by herself in my kitchen, alone to take the full rap?”

“No. She told us to shower at the dojo; that we had spare clothes. She made sure we didn't trek anymore food around the house...And she cleaned all the high spots.”

“I see. So, despite she being willing to take the full rap for you, instead of sticking around until after I got home you _still_ left her _alone_ , no matter what she asked of you?”

Mina and Rei looked at each other. “She...She’s the Queen?” They shrugged.

“I highly doubt it was of royal order.” Makoto commented. “So, the answer was still yes?”

“Yes.”

“And, because you two can’t keep your hands _off_ each other at any given opportunity you _have_ , you let Usagi clean for you for an _hour, alone_ . She’s done cleaning. She’s saved your ass enough. You two are going to clean the rest of this disaster up, and Usagi, I’ll toss your shirt, and pants in the wash for you, while you shower to get the chocolate that you unnecessarily poured _into_ your hair, out.”

Mako glared at the pair of lovers, before placing a kiss to Usagi’s head, and taking the shirt from the kitchen floor. 

“Come talk to me after Usa. We’re okay.”

Usagi nodded, glancing back, still half sorry for what Mina and Rei were left with, but not.

Usagi relaxed in her shower, finally getting her hair clean. Makoto had left her comfy pj’s and was reading a book when she walked out.

“Hey.”

“Hey, feel better?” Makoto looked up, adjustin\g her reading glasses.

“Yeah.” Usagi hesitated.

“You can come to bed ya know. Not gonna bite, today anyway.” Makoto giggled with a wink, as Usagi sat next to her, before being pulled into Makoto’s arms.

“Why did you do that for them? You should have let them wiggle in the wind.”

“They drive me nuts, they infuriate me sometimes, and they are also there for me too...I dunno, because I love them, and I don't think they realized just how upset you’d be. I’m still really glad I got home first. I’m sorry about your windchimes. That was the first thing I made sure was spotless.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. What time is it?”

“Eight.”

“I was in the shower for an hour too? And I cut my hair too…It’s not nearly as long as it used to be”

“Yeah well, you were actually focused on the proper task at hand while you were in there, without distraction.”

Usagi giggled. “I’m glad I sent them to the dojo showers.”

“Honey, they have decorum. They never would have been together in our guest shower. But I heard what you said, and your general assessments are right. They just know better.”

Usagi laughed again. “They still cleaning?”

“Yes, as they should be. You should have left them with the higher jobs.”

“I couldn't. Top to bottom always. What comes from the top falls to the bottom. If we cleaned the floor and counters first, everything above that would fall right on it, causing more work.”

“I _did_ teach you well when cleaning my kitchen, didn't I?”

“You are the best.”

“No. Not really. I watched you as you cleaned, and heard your entire exchange with them before you stated you were going to sleep in the guest room tonight.”

“I figured. But I’m glad you didn’t help. Wasn't your job, and you shouldn't have had to, because you run enough kitchens. Ours is so you can relax and not have to cook a 5 course, 5 star meal every second. I know you, there are days you don’t even want to _look_ at our kitchen when you get home. I had a feeling that tonight was one of them, considering you prepped most things, and then asked the rest of us to do the rest. But when I came home to that? Just no… Speaking of, they should almost be done; maybe another half hour.”

“Maybe I should go in there and bark orders at them.” Makoto giggled.

“You didn’t? What were you doing while I was showering?”

“Reading.”

“Then you missed your opportunity.”

“Oh well. Let’s see where they are; maybe the dessert was salvaged?”

“Nope. They messed the brownies up too…Let’s get a delivery dessert from Motoki, and then we let them off the hook?”

“You are much too forgiving sometimes, Love.”

“It’s in my nature, what can I say? Plus I learn from you.”

Makoto snorted. “I am seriously not feeling that forgiving…”

“That just means I gotta get Motoki to bribe you with a lava cake filled with Bailiey's and mint chocolate chip ice cream on top.”

Makoto laughed as the pair walked out of their room.

The end.


End file.
